realizations

a few random things that i've realize in the last few days, as i've gone around doing various things:

1- i've always known that my sense in style is a LOT different than most women. having grown up as, but not out of being a tom-boy, thats just how my life has been, since i can remember. what i wanted to wear as a kid, and what mom wanted me to wear were always quite a bit different. (like wearing pink. until i got to be bigger than all my sisters, i was forced to wear pink clothing) i hadnt realized, however, that the colours of shirts that i liked to wear was all that different from most women. for work, i needed to find some "sort sleeved navy blue collared shirt[s]." thats fine, i can do that no problem. so i thought. i went looking at my work, sears, for any navy blue, collared short sleeved shirts...in womens. they werent there. they werent at shopko, where i looked next. they didnt even have any at walmart! i eventually found some, in _boys_ clothing, that would fit me. they didnt even have any in _mens_ i had to go to _boys_ to find some navy blue short-sleeved collared shirts. it was rather sad. am i that different from the rest of the world in wanting to wear some, that i had to go and find some, in the school uniform section?

2- its been my dream since i was a kid to be a park ranger. my family has gone to nearly all the national parks west of the mississippi, and so its rubbed off on me. conservation! save our world! all that stuff. i've always _always_ wanted to do that. fine, so i go to school, i major in rec, and minor in natural resources, learn what i need to, and i'm on my way, right? well, another dream has been to become a wife and mom, and have a family of my own. (thanks to rachel and dante, that has happend a bit, before i'm married, and before i'm out of the house) so, while i'm at school (and i guess now after my mission), i find a guy, get married, and i'm all set there, right? but...i want to be a park ranger too. it was mentioned to me by a friend once that i'm going to have a real hard time finding a guy that will actually be fine with me being a park ranger for 4 or more months of the year, while he is taking care of the kids, and working his own job. (unless he is a teacher that is) so....hm....that doesnt exactly work. if i want a family, i'm going to have to give up my park rangering, and be a mom till my kids are gone, then i can park ranger. way sad day! or, i can become a park ranger, and forget about being a mom for a while. also way sad day! isnt there a way to have both? there t'aint no way that any guy is going to let me do both. what guy, in his right mind, would let mom run away and play conservationest for four or more months of the year? absolutely none that i know.

3- i decided that i have a very different taste in shoes/sandles than most women. i was browsing through the shoes at walmart, noticing that really, womens shoes are _not_ at all practical. they would most definately _not_ work for backpacking. when i was looking at some better shoes for my skills class winter semester, i had come to the same conclusion. no shoes in the women's section of payless shoes was very practical, and most certianly would not work on a backpacking trip. for that trip, i ended up going to men's finding the smallest pair of hiking/athletic shoes i could find that werent forever heavy and actually fit, and got them. so maybe winter isnt the right season to find practical women's shoes. i thought that maybe they would have some better ones in the "back to school" part of the year. i guess i was wrong. same goes for sandles. all the sandles were heels or platforms, again, not something that i would want to take with me if i were to be out running around playing frisbee, working in the yard, or any of the other stuff that i enjoy doing in the summer (when there are other people around). am i cursed, again being a tom-boy, to forever shop in the mens section for decent shoes/sandals, and just cloths in general?