Sunday, March 6, 2011

the realization

as the day of the wedding creeps steadily closer, I ask myself each day "am i really ready for this?  can i really be a wife and a future mother?  can i meet those needs? (along with the question what the heck am i doing?)"  as much as i know i want it, it seems like the impossible.
and then it came to me.
what i want, is to just be done with school, and have a family of my own.  the sound of children's voices, the sound of small feet running through the kitchen and living room, the hugs and kisses, the holding of small hands... its what i want.  I have a whole slew of fears that go along with it, and probably will until it comes, and even past that.  but i want to try my hand at it.
sadly, school being done is still a long ways off.  classes yet to be taken, many many internship hours yet to fill.  but as soon as possible thereafter, the idea of having children of our own, with his amazing red hair and blue eyes, will be the ultimate joy.