my missionary

I got a letter from my missionary, and he included some pictures. for anyone who might be interested, i thought i would put them up (not that anyone actually will care, but thats too bad).

random note:

i washed my car (and mom's and dad's cars too). it was interesting. its the first time since...about three years ago when i stoped doing dance that i've been that...exposed. i almost wanted one of my guy friends (starts to think specifically of LG and SG) to walk by.

oh what do you do in the summertime?

People ask me, "min, what is it your doing in the summers, now that you arent in school?" i try to tell them, but they want pictures. so, here are a few pictures. not many, but some. for more (again, not many more) you can go here

Rachel's Pictures

these pictures were drawn by rachel yesterday, in sacrament meeting. they made me smile. :)

Why We Have Earthquakes

note: this was written before the other great dragon story, and gave me the idea for the other one. this one was a creative writing assignment in my 12th grade humanities class for SLCC.



The Great Dragon really loved to eat smoothies. He would eat them all day long, for every meal, and for snacks. He ate them almost non-stop. The only problem was that he didn’t like having to be away from home so much to eat them. The only place that the Great Dragon could get them was at the local smoothie shop named “Heavenly Smoothies: The best place to get smoothies above the ground.” Besides being away from home so much, the Great Dragon was running out of money to buy them, and the maker was running out of supplies. The Great Dragon decided to buy himself a smoothie maker.
The Great Dragon went to Floor Mart* to get himself a smoothie maker. While at Floor Mart, the Great Dragon had a hard time finding a smoothie maker, so he asked for help. None of the employees had heard of a smoothie maker, but instead suggested buying a blender and, while he was at it, he could buy his own ingredients for his smoothies, then he could decide what flavour to make. He liked this idea, so the Great Dragon bought everything he would need to make a perfect smoothie, plus a few extra things. When the Great Dragon got home, he made himself the best smoothie that could ever be made. The only problem was, when ever the Great Dragon had a smoothie, it made the earth shake from all of the ice that had to be crushed up. He wasn’t sure what he should do.
The great dragon thought that maybe he could try eating all of the ingredients all together as one big mouthful without crushing everything up in the blender. He tried it, and found that it tasted almost as good as it did when he mixed it up in the blender. That is how the Great Dragon now eats his smoothies, and he can eat them in the comforts of home, while spending less money on the ingredients, than on an already made smoothie.
However, sometimes he just cant get away from remembering how much better the blended smoothies tasted, and just has to have one blended up. Whenever he blends up the ingredients for his smoothie, there is always an earthquake.


* Thanks to BJN, my sister, for letting me use her idea for Floor Mart.

Happy Birthday Mom

It was pointed out to me that i've been portraying mom is rather a bad light, and that she has no redeeming qualities. i'd like to fix that point, for she does have her good points as well. and, since its her birthday today, what better day to do it?

mom's good qualities
-she makes excellent meals.
-she keeps us healthy, with her excellent meals
-Dr. Mom--she usually knows the cure to most anything ailing us
-been very involved in our schooling--kinda (i might add some clarifications to this later)
-she got me started on doing extractions for familysearchindexing.org
-she helps out with reading at Rachel's elementary
-encourages me to go to YSA events (i went to one last night, but i dont know if i'll go again in the future, i felt really old and out of place.)
-helped me to find a job
-makes sure that the house is clean (or that i clean it, when it needs to be cleaned)


overall, she really is a great lady, she just isnt the type of person that i want to be, and, sadly, she isnt really a person that i can get along with really really well. but, we all love her for who she is. Happy Birthday Mom!

Why We Have Stars

The Great Dragon hated the dark. Absolutely hated it. So, he decided to fix it so that night wasn’t so dark. He took a trip to Floormart,* such a nice helpful place that it was, to take a look around, see what they had to offer. They had lamps, both big and small, but they were too bright. They had night-lights, but they were too bright too. Luckily, they had a special going on in their pets department on electric eels. So, the Great Dragon bought an electric eel, hoping that it would give off just the fright kind light to make it bright enough. It wasn’t nearly as bright as the lamps and the night-light.
When it got to be dark, out came the electric eel. It gave off light for a few seconds while it was moved. After it was settled in his tank, the eel didn’t give off any light. The Great Dragon went over to poke the eel to see if that would help and make a glow, even for just a few minutes. “OUCH!!! That eel hurts when it shocks, and it doesn’t even give off any light! What a waste.” Frusturated, the Great Dragon went to sleep, hurt and upset.
Next morning the Great Dragon took the eel back to Floormart for a full refund.
The Great Dragon wandered around town, trying to get ideas as to how to light up the night, without making it too bright. He was wandering around the local park when it started to get dark. Out came the fireflies, blinking on and off and giving out just the right amount of light. “Bingo!” the Great Dragon ran home, and grabbed as many mason jars as he could carry. Back at the park, he gathered up hundreds of fireflies and took them up to his home in the clouds. He released them, and they flew to the sky, up so high that the fireflies got stuck. They couldn’t come down, so to this day, they are still up there, giving off just the right amount of light, so that the night isn’t so dark for the Great Dragon

* Thanks to Bonnie Jean for the idea of Floormart

happiness!

this just made my day. great to know what kinds of dumb stupid things people do in their free time.

another great thing that has made the day just wonderful... i saw Arsenic and Old Lace yesterday (for about the 20th time) i had forgotten just how good of a movie it was. if you havent seen it, you should go get it and watch it...right now.

grar

warning: this be a rant, and things i dont necessarily mean wholehartedly ( wholehartedly all the time, i mean them completely here and now) might be said.

one of the things i've found about comming home is that i slip more and more often into really really depressive states, and other related issues come up, making life just...fie. i realized exactly why, and honestly, if there was one thing about home i could change...

on saturday, mom asked to used my keys. if no one has seen my keychain, its full of all sorts of stuffs. its a small carabiner (horahh for caribiners!) with at now five keys on it (thanks BLW for giving me a key to your house) an emergancy wistle, in case i get lost in the forest, or some person wants to try and rape me or something like unto that, a compass, in case i get lost in the forest, CTR man and a light for finding keyholes, watching my step on the ground, or shining into said abductors eyes (even though it says on it "do not shine in eye, could cause eye damage". all very useful things. mom took my keychain, and she told me (i'll put a warning now that any and all diolauge may or may not be direct quotes) "mindy, you have to get rid of some of the things on your keychain, it makes you look like a geek" so i think to myself, "thanks mom, just what any child would want to hear" but out loud i say "maybe i like it" mom says "you need to grow out of it" followed by a direct silence. i refuse to reply, cause i know that if i replied, i would just get into more trouble than i had already that day, from wanting to walk up to albertsons which is just up the street about half a block instead of takng the car, for trying to use the skills i learned at school and purchace some chicken tenders at walmart, and for basicly trying to take charge when cleaning up rachel's and mine room. so...why can i do any of that? cause thats apparantly not the girl that mom raised me to be...or something like that. (same goes for likeing to wear my sunglasses all the time outside (though sunglasses are practical, so i dont know why she had problems with that one. wierd)

so what about all this puts me into more depresive moods, and other related items? well, first off, what child likes their parent to say "no, you cant do that, because its different from everyone else" none that i know of. sure, there are some cases where its okay to say that, but for a whole way of being? mmm... just doesnt seem right, thanks. next, why cant mom see that thats who i really am, that thats what makes me happy, and its expressing myself? so what if my way of expressing myself is different than all my sisters, who were really girly girls. having a tom-boy in the family isnt all that bad, is it? is she ashamed of it, and so she wants me to hide it? sorry, thats not going to really happen, unless she starts to force me to do things other than my current nature. happily, that hasnt happened yet. i will give her that she grew up in a time when being a tom-boy was looked down upon, so maybe she has that thinking still. but if my grandparents can accept it, cant mom? cant she see that i am who i am, and learn to live with it? she doesnt like the cloths i wear (i've found that cargo pants are way comfy, and very useful when you live out of your pockets like i do (as opposed to a purse), she doesnt like that i dont be all girly and wear makeup, do my hair (a braid or a bun is about as fancy as i get), doesnt like that i live out of my pockts, and surly doesnt like that i'm an outdoors-woman (and therefore my career choice. i should learn to be a secretary), and i should have better homemaking skills (i dont have any cooking skills). but all of that...thats not me. cant mom see that? her disapproving of just about everything i do...it makes me feel like i am worthless, and that i dont belong. many days, i want to be kidnaped, just so that i can feel like _someone_ wants me, and that they wouldnt mind my many quirks. (though i guess that getting married might accomplish the same thing....but thats not to happen for a wile, according to Heavenly Father)

(heavy sigh) anyhow.... another realization came, and its one i plan on trying to do something about. here's a resolution, and so its public so i'm more likely to actually follow through on it than if i just think it to myself...

most all of my blogs thus far have been rather depressing, so, i'm going to change it. i shant post anything unless it can make me happy, and/or smile and/or is an update (a nuteral or positive one) on my life. there... now to follow through with it. i'll start today, and add this here. it made me happy to read these, so i shall share with the general population.

Experiences of Motherhood

being rachel's mindy-mom is something i've always loved being. sure, its had its hard times, but the good times way way out weigh the bad. also, being a better mother to rachel than mom was to us was something that i always took a great amount of joy in (possibly an unhealthy amount). but, realizations came today that mayhaps all is not as it seems. studies have shown that daughters learn their parenting skills from their moms. i always liked to think that i had learned what mom's parenting skills, what worked and what didnt, and changed it, so that i could be a possibly better parent, knowing how to disipline my kids, but not be really overbearing, like mom was/is. knowing how to have fun, but get things done too (something that mom never really did. it was always get things done, and then get this done, and then oh look, its bedtime, with little time for much fun) i realized that, in all actuality, i hadnt done as i had hoped. i have, in more ways than i care to admit, become a lot like my mom. the thing that made me realize that, was today, when me and rachel were cleaning our room, mom came in, started yelling at the both of us (rachel for not cleaning fast enough, me for not making rachel clean better, and for supposedly not cleaning well enough either), rachel started to cry because she was frusturated, she was scared of mom (who can get to be real scary when she's that upset), and didnt know what to do. after i got mom out of the room, rachel came begging for a hug. i failed to give her one, promising one "later." "later" was always moms response if we asked her to come play with us, for a hug (we never got hugs (side note, but mom never ever said that she loved us either...something that i HAVE made sure to correct for rachel)), for just about anythign, the answer was "later." i hated that answer, and swore to never use it with my kids. but more and more recently, the answer is always "later" "i'll play with you later, rach" "not now rach, i'm busy" "rachel, i'm reading, not right now" always the same answer that i always got from my mom, something i never, ever want to use. it makes me feel bad that i refused to even give rachel a hug "later" since, as we all know "later" never comes. ever. i shall just have to make up for it now, and not wait till later. just no one else make my stupid mistakes, and, if/when you have kids, dont wait till the never comming "later" to make sure that your kids know you care.(heads out on a hunt for rachel, to make sure she gets her promised hug)

Music and memories

while at the dentist today (only five small cavites, yay for me :P), i heard a great song. introduced to me while at school. now, music has been a part of my life for about as long as I can remember. I've been playing piano since I can remember, and in choirs of any and every kind since third grade. music is possibly one of the few things worth really pursuing in life right now. but, since it has been such a big part of life it has made it so that i relate just about everyting with music. but mostly, people. i've had some favourite songs, but have been ruined from certian peoples, and just general associating it with peoples. great examples are "hey there delilah" (currently being associated with three good friends whom i'll probably never see again RL, SG, and LG) and then "God be with you till we meet again" (mostly associated with dante, but everyone from up at school as well). probably my two most loved, but hated songs. music, its a wonderful thing to associate people with, because then if your talking to them, then you can have a song going on in your head while talking to them. but, if you hear the song, it brings back some powerful emotions. amazing the power of music.

Why?

why is it, that it seems as though _every_single_form of media _MUST_ have some sort of a "relationship" put into them. movies, books, even kids TV shows any more. i dont know, maybe its just me, maybe its cause i'm rather lacking in the area so i look for it? most of the movies i've seen recently (Carmen, The Mikado, even Bambi 2), most of the books i've been reading recently (the exception being the scriptures, and other church related books), even most TV shows (i think this is why i stick to nova, nova science now, and nature (besides the fact that i'm really a science geek at heart, and am a conservationest)) that i've see, or have seen preveiws for, have had that as a main plot, or at least it is very much hinted at. its.....GRAR! cant we have any fun books and movies _without_ that being there? some of us would rather that wasnt there. it makes us feel pitiful, and just...depressed. oh well. i guess its a good way to make sure that i'm learning the things that i should (like studying my beliefs so that i can actually go tell people about them, and maybe if i watch enough of nature, i'll be able to pass an ecology course (hopeful looks)). i guess its that, or feel like a left out american for not being able to enjoy all that kind of stuff.

life in west valley

I'm home again, and life has change dramatically from at school. at school, i could actually be...me. i had forgotten how much i cant be me, but have to be someone else, the mindy that mom wants me to be, expects me to be. at school i could be the melinda that was actually inside. i was free. i could go out on four hour walks, and no one would care, that was what i did. i could study in the gardens, and come back sunburnt, and no one would mention that it was stupid (even though i know it was) cause that was who i was. i was outdoors. at home? i have to be the mindy that could care less about outdoors, but loves to spend her days inside, reading a book, playing with rachel, and just....existing. that life before wasnt happy, it was just...there. i hadnt ever known anything else, so i didnt know that it could be different. now, i'm...changed. i'm not the same me that i was before, and mom wont accept it. i've found what it is that makes me happy, but i cant go pursue it. i cant randomly go on four hour walks that started at 9 at night (heck, i have to be in bed by ten, order of mom (yes, i have a curfurew, and its worse than BYUI)) i have to be lady like. i cant live off the internet. i'm supposed to use the computer only one hour a day (though when mom isnt here, its a whole lot longer than that) one of the biggest changes is that i;ve found some real friends. i've loved, and been loved. heck, i even had a boyfriend at one point (it only lasted for about a month, but it was wonderful while it lasted) thats somethign that would never have happened while i was here at home. because of the changes i've made, the things i've grown to know and accustomed to, i've also had some of the darkest days of my life up there. but i lived, i loved, i was who i knew i was. i didnt have to supress the conservationest, i didnt have to surpress the outdoors-woman. its made me sooo depressed. i've had to listen to sweeney todd on an almost daily basis to try and get out my destructive thoughts, so i dont end up doing something way drastic that i would later regret. also, mom didnt like my going on a mission. i still think she really doesnt like it, although she has offered to pay for my mission. grar!

on a light note, i will say that here at home, i've been able to play mommy to rachel (and dante while he is here). i love being able to be her mom. while J is of in new york, rachel has no mom. J, i'm sad to say, but she has said it, so i dont feel _too_ bad about saying it, isnt a real great mom as it is, so to be able to be a mom, to be able to be a protector of rachel while she is home...it feels wonderful. its what i live for when i'm home. to play mindy-mommy. its had its hard times, thats for sure. last week, for example, i had accidentally locked the steering wheel on my car, mom and dad were both at girls camp, and all the neighbours i am supposed to turn to for help were all gone. i had to go get rachel from school. i couldnt start the car, and couldnt figure out why (thank heavens for neighbours who can help). i ended up going to get her, an hour late...by bus. that whole week, i felt like a bad parent. but, this week, when mom is home, and is "in charge" of rachel, i feel like the best parent in the world. mom, not all that affective at getting kids to do homework (i've only come to realize this as i've watched her try to get rachel to do her homework). she yells, she screams, she makes fun of....all not very effective ways of getting your kids to do homework. luckily for rachel, i'm here to help her get her homework done, in a more productive manner. instead of yelling, screaming, making fun of rachel, all that, i've learned that sitting there patiently, in the same room as her, while doing something fairly productive of my own (like reading a book) she will do her homework all by herself. it makes me feel proud that i can get rachel to do things that she cant. also, while at home, i have a chance to work in the garden. something that i missed dearly while at school. but, happily, now after work, i can come home, and i can play in the dirt, and get as muddy as i wish (so long as it is all washed off before mom comes home from work). its great.

life...cant it ever be simple, like it was when we were kids?

realizations

a few random things that i've realize in the last few days, as i've gone around doing various things:

1- i've always known that my sense in style is a LOT different than most women. having grown up as, but not out of being a tom-boy, thats just how my life has been, since i can remember. what i wanted to wear as a kid, and what mom wanted me to wear were always quite a bit different. (like wearing pink. until i got to be bigger than all my sisters, i was forced to wear pink clothing) i hadnt realized, however, that the colours of shirts that i liked to wear was all that different from most women. for work, i needed to find some "sort sleeved navy blue collared shirt[s]." thats fine, i can do that no problem. so i thought. i went looking at my work, sears, for any navy blue, collared short sleeved shirts...in womens. they werent there. they werent at shopko, where i looked next. they didnt even have any at walmart! i eventually found some, in _boys_ clothing, that would fit me. they didnt even have any in _mens_ i had to go to _boys_ to find some navy blue short-sleeved collared shirts. it was rather sad. am i that different from the rest of the world in wanting to wear some, that i had to go and find some, in the school uniform section?

2- its been my dream since i was a kid to be a park ranger. my family has gone to nearly all the national parks west of the mississippi, and so its rubbed off on me. conservation! save our world! all that stuff. i've always _always_ wanted to do that. fine, so i go to school, i major in rec, and minor in natural resources, learn what i need to, and i'm on my way, right? well, another dream has been to become a wife and mom, and have a family of my own. (thanks to rachel and dante, that has happend a bit, before i'm married, and before i'm out of the house) so, while i'm at school (and i guess now after my mission), i find a guy, get married, and i'm all set there, right? but...i want to be a park ranger too. it was mentioned to me by a friend once that i'm going to have a real hard time finding a guy that will actually be fine with me being a park ranger for 4 or more months of the year, while he is taking care of the kids, and working his own job. (unless he is a teacher that is) so....hm....that doesnt exactly work. if i want a family, i'm going to have to give up my park rangering, and be a mom till my kids are gone, then i can park ranger. way sad day! or, i can become a park ranger, and forget about being a mom for a while. also way sad day! isnt there a way to have both? there t'aint no way that any guy is going to let me do both. what guy, in his right mind, would let mom run away and play conservationest for four or more months of the year? absolutely none that i know.

3- i decided that i have a very different taste in shoes/sandles than most women. i was browsing through the shoes at walmart, noticing that really, womens shoes are _not_ at all practical. they would most definately _not_ work for backpacking. when i was looking at some better shoes for my skills class winter semester, i had come to the same conclusion. no shoes in the women's section of payless shoes was very practical, and most certianly would not work on a backpacking trip. for that trip, i ended up going to men's finding the smallest pair of hiking/athletic shoes i could find that werent forever heavy and actually fit, and got them. so maybe winter isnt the right season to find practical women's shoes. i thought that maybe they would have some better ones in the "back to school" part of the year. i guess i was wrong. same goes for sandles. all the sandles were heels or platforms, again, not something that i would want to take with me if i were to be out running around playing frisbee, working in the yard, or any of the other stuff that i enjoy doing in the summer (when there are other people around). am i cursed, again being a tom-boy, to forever shop in the mens section for decent shoes/sandals, and just cloths in general?

starting out

I've come to the conclusion that having turned the notes section of my other account probably holds no interest to those who might read it, instead, we'll do it this way. a lot of this will be random rambligs from myself (usually on what has been on my mind for a while, with the goings on in my life), and sometimes the odd interesting information that i find on days when i'm home and looking up really random things (sizes and populations of city's for example) just to pass the time, to learn some information, and to entertain myself, but that i want to share with the general population, so that maybe they can find the same sort of joy out of it that i do as well. i'll try and keep it up to date on what might be happening in my life (it wont be all that much of that. i mean, with nothing going on in my life, what is there to share) and all the "exciting" adventures i have