Becoming a leader

WARNING:  This starts out as more of a rant, but it turns into more phylisophical at the end.
For one of my classes, Facility Management (lovingly referred to throughout the semester as my one hated class), we were put in groups of two, and told to do these huge projects.  One project was to come up with the idea for a facility, and see why it would work in a certain area.  We chose to do a rock climbing gym, and the location here in Rexburg, Idaho.  There was a lot of work to go into it.  A lot of research, and putting things together.  My partner was less than enthusiastic about helping.  Also, he missed classes rather regularly, and had the tact of missing the classes where our teacher talked about the important information going into the papers and the project.  It didn't bother me at first, figuring that he had his half of the work to do, and I had mine. As long as he got his half done, I would be okay with it.  We never met out of class (even though it was highly suggested we meet at least once weekly so that we both know and understand the research that was being done), and we hardly communicated.  Oh, and did I mention that I was the one who made sure that everything got done?  The project came due, and he was supposed to email me his half of the work, and I would put it all together, print it out, and bring it to class.  All night, I looked and I looked for his email... it never came.  Instead, I worked on his half, and pulled some stuff together.  It was a horrible job, but at least it was something.  Happily, I found out later that it was some sort of error in the system, and that he had sent it, I just never got it.  The next project included taking that first project, with all of the research, and all of everything that we had just done, and turning it into an essay.  Again, I was the one who had to make sure that everything got done, to suggest ideas, and to put it all together, and bring it to class.  Lastly, for the final, we had to do a presentation about our facility, and try and sell it to the "board members" (aka, the other members of the class) to get funding for it, and show them why it was a good idea.  I had to email him two or three times just to let him know what all was required for said presentaion, and put it all together.  He just basically looked at it, and presented half of the information.  I'm glad that the partnership is done, and I'm hoping that I learned a lot from it, and how to be a better partner.
After our presentation, I stayed after class to talk to our teacher about the essay, and why it wasn't good, and some extra credit that I had done.  She asked me about the partnership, and then made this comment "But you didn't complain at all..."  It made me think, and wonder.  I did plenty of complaining, to myself, sometimes to my roommates and other friends, but no, she never heard about it.  She was almost asking why, but didn't so I didn't offer the information.  I don't know if I would have had an answer at that point in time anyhow.  I have been thinking about it ever sense.  I think I came up with my answer.  I needed to prove to myself that I could be that leader, that I could take charge in a situation and make things happen.  I did a little bit on my mission, and I saw that change.  But on my mission, my companion was motivated, and wanted to go do the work.  This was different.  My parter had no motivation, and was less than enthusiastic about helping out.  So, I showed to myself that I could do it, that I could be a leader, even when they didn't need it.  And I didn't complain.  If it was a professional setting, I wouldn't be able to complain and have things magically change.  I proved it to myself that I could lead.  I could take charge when I needed to.  This has been especially helpful in the last month or so, in a dating and love life sense.  But that is a completely different story, that I'm not quite sure how it worked.  I'm still processing that one.  But, most important from this experience, I learned that I can lead, and I can do it well.  It isn't with force, and making the other person to do it, but how to lead gently, giving timely reminders, and how to let the other person have some accountability, when they need to take it.  I can't be responsible for their success, and I can't necessarily pull them along.  If it is important to me, I will do the extra work necessary, but I can also let things go, and let the other person be responsible for their half of the work load.