Change

Some friends and I have been talking recently about change. A lot of us are recently returned missionaries, and so change has been on our minds a lot. Being back at school just re-enforces those thoughts. Just how has my world changed? The kids grew up (and I got an addional one). That was probably the biggest change in my world. The kids were no longer my cute little kids that I had left behind. They went through some traumatic times while I was gone. And it affected them. In more mundane ways, the house I grew up in changed. It no longer looks like my house. The school I now attend has changed in so many ways. The buildings are different. The paths I took to school are different. there are different professors for my major (and the teachers I wished had left (for my minor classes) didn't). The friends I have here at school are all different. As I metnioned, most of us have recently gotten home, and apparently, that changes people. A lot of my friends are now gone- working real jobs, getting married and having kids, going on with life. Life doesnt just stop when one goes on a mission for the Lord. I almost wish it had. The life I left, though far from where I wanted it to be, was comfortable. And now its not. There were some changes that were hard, that I still feel the reprecussions of, but I suppose that is to be expected. Probably the biggest change in comming home was having to deal with stupid girly emotions. I was happily in a world where emotions didnt mean much. I had them, but they werent needed- so they stayed nicely tucked away in a box in the corner of my mind. And now, they are there again- and trying to run rampant even though I don't want that addition to my life yet.

A lot of the questions that come to mind are "How have I changed? I know my world has changed, but have I changed to my world?" It certainly doesn't feel like it. The kids say I did. One of the first things they said when I saw them was "Mindy, you've changed." On the cute side, when I first saw Dante again he said "Mindy, you shrank! No, Dante, I didnt shrink, you grew." Then after a few more minutes, he said "No, I didnt grow, you shrank." He was and is so cute.
Dante, the whole time I was home before I came back to shcool was "Mindy, you changed" I didnt like that, because they didn't like how I had changed. But I can't control if I changed or not, can I? I can control what aspects come out from being changed, but I cant change that I changed. Some of my friends say I am more social. Mostly, I think it is just that I'm not necessarily a fan of my home right now, so I'm out and about, avoiding it sometimes. Though, I could be considered more social becasue of it. Because of some experiences that I hated while going through them on my mission, I think I'm happier. That has to be good. But (according to the kids), also stricter in some things. We still have fun. But it isn't the same.

Yes. Life has definately changed. For the good? I'm still trying to figure it out. But one thing I do know is that it certianly has changed.