Wednesday, February 20, 2008

thinking

so, i was thinking about things, and then about rachel, and then about my mission, and i realized something. you know, my papers were put on hold, and then rachel left, and things started happening with them. they were no longer on hold. they went in to the stake president. at first, it struck me as odd, then i realized, you know, God makes things happen for certian reasons, so there has to be a reason behind the timing on all this. now, what that reason is, i dont know. if it was because i was supposed to be around for rachel's sake while she was here and going through it all, its a possiblity, but for some reason, i dont think so. she's been through stuff like it before, and has been just fine, with out me there. my next thought was that, i guess then, i was supposed to learn something from it. what, i dont know, and i dont know if i really want to think about that much more, 'cause the thoughts it led to were most unplesent. but, apparantly, i was supposed to be here and learn something from it, if only from the fact that i know just how much easier it would have been if i had been like, say, in idaho, or on my mission. so, i guess it was a learning experience, but i dont know what i learned. just thought i would share. :)


P.S honestly, i thinks i do too much thinking for my own good. :) just thought i would share that too. :)

1 comment:

Sean said...

I've long thought that the whole Rachel Timing thing was for you to learn. I thought it was great that the Lord gave you this mini mission experience to teach rachel the gospel and you got to help her with her questions and with her struggles. Then, right when you really felt connected, the lord transfered her out of your life. Just like a mission - you met, you taught, you grew close to, and you had to leave it into the hands of someone else. Welcome to mission work.

I also thought that this was a great time for the Lord to teach you that you are powerless. Your four most recent blogs were you ranting about how they were stealing your Rachel and how you couldn't do anything about it. This lesson leaned it self to other avenues of your life. Your mother is controlling and you can't do anything about it. You want to be held and I live in CA and you can't do anything about it. all you can do is take up the yoke of Christ and learn to have faith. That is all you have control over. And no matter how much you want your investigators to do what they must to receive eternal rewards, in the end, all you can olny do all that you can do and then leave it in the Lord's hands.

Great lessons you have learned these last several months with Rachel.