new years!

this post is going to have two purposes to it, and therefore, its going to be really long. maybe. i guess it will all depend on how chatty i deciede i want to be today. one purpose is to make some new years resolutions, and put them here so that maybe, if i've "told" them to someone else, i'll feel more obligated to actually complete them. to make those resolutions, i'm going to have to review the year, and see how it has been and what i need to change. so we'll actually complete purpopse two first, but i never said i did things in order.


so to sum up the year. if i had to do it in one word it would be...full. it was a very full year. full of lots and lots of different things. i think the easiest way to do this is to break it up into different areas in my life, and give a short summery of what has happened with it all. maybe?

first area would have to be school. school honestly didnt go so well this year. you wouldnt know it looking at the grades, but honestly, it didnt go well. i was too preoccupied with other things that came up. it came second to everything. honestly, i'm surprised that i didnt get sick at all during the school year. (knocks on wood) i guess i shouldnt complain though, because after it all, i only have to retake one class (i'll admit that i'm not happy about it, because since it for my minor, i have to have a C to pass, but those taking it for their major can get a D and still not have to retake it. hmph!)

next area i guess would have to be the mental/emotional health. things in this area got a lot better. its not completely better, and there's still a LOT that i need to fix, but it is much better than it was. i'm beginning to see some of life's challenges in a different light, thanks to the wonderful help of my councelors. i'm getting a better grip on my deperession, and learning some coping tactics for being here at home. its helped out quite a bit.

that area leads right to the spiritual area of my life. this area has changed a lot over the year. one big accomplishment was to make it through the book of mormon for the first time ever. i started out the year thinking, "oh nothing really is going to change over the year" but, wouldnt you know it, i end up the year getting ready for a mission? i think that i'm as surprised about it as anyone else. but, it will be a good change of pace for life for a bit. its something that i think has been needing to happen, to get me where i am eventually supposed to be spiritually. i'm excited for it all, and i guess we shall have to see just how it progresses.

now, that is the sum up of all the areas of my life (unless anyone else can think of anything that i might have left out? i'm open for suggestions), which takes us to my resolutions for the year.

1- for as long as i'm doing PAD, no more random food shots.
2- i'd like to make it through the book of mormon for a second time, but this time, not taking two weeks to do it. actually gettting into it and such.
3- excersise more. i need to be getting in shape if i'm really going to be doing lots and lots of walking on my mission. i was doign good at doing 1-4 hour walks. but not so much any more.
4- improve my cooking skills. this is more of a long term goal that i've had for lots of years, and it has indeed improved. but they could get better. i still cant cook worth beans
5- improve my interpersonal skills. despite what some of you may belive, i'm really a shy and quiet person, and i'm going to have to improve that. some of that will come on my mission, but i'll need to start working on it now.

there are many many others, but for now, i'll just commit to those. i dont want to overwhelm myself.

here's to everyone else having a good new year, and all that. cheers!

2- i'd like to make it through the book of mormon for the second time in my life, and this time taking it slower than two weeks, so that i can get into it.

the 12 days of christmas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fe11OlMiz8

this is the best way to have the twelve days of Christmas. at least, from what i've found

trust

trust is a funny thing. its something that takes a long time to gain, and it can be thrown away so much quicker. the trust of parents can be even more interesting. parents trust their kids to do, or to not do certian things. for example, mom will trust me to do the wash, sew dante' some PJs, and mow the lawn, but she doesnt trust me to drive her anywhere, run the tiller, or plan a decent primary lesson. what is it that makes someone trust, or not trust someone. most of it must come from past experience. based on a persons past experience will make it so that they know your behaviour and will either trust you, or not. mom knows that i can do the wash all by myself. i've been doing wash since i was old enough to walk (or so it seems) but she seems to base my abilitys to drive on my sisters' ability to drive (she absolutely refuses to let me drive her anywhere, even if i am the better driver in storms, and in the dark). but people have to have trust to get along, and to get things done. trust is esential in business deals. it has to be present so that each side will do what they say. trust has to be esential for leaders to get things done in their groups. but how do we get to trust someone? someone can ask you "why do you trust this person" but do you really have an answer, besides based on experience? "what made you first trust this person?" can anyone really honestly answer the question?

sldkfjasdl;fjasdl;fjsad;lfj

the day started out interesting enough. it started out with going to work, and starting to work the freight. nothing new, nothing exciting. then i get a page over the intercom, before the store is even open "melinda, please come to customer service." i get there, and my manager is wearing rubber gloves, a mask, and goggles. something just had to be up. why else would she be wearing those? so i find out. apparantly Champion Breed pet food, not just the dog food, not just the cat food, but all of their pet food (dry, not wet) is somehow contaminated. we had to get rid of EVERYTHING! lots of 50 lb. bags of food and all. and yes, i even had to wear the gloves, mask, and goggles. it was the least plesent thing i could have done that day, or so i thought. i get done helping with that, and still have about half my shift left, so i go to work more freight. then i notice, "i'm not jingling like i should" i look down...my keys are gone. i look in the stock room, i look over in Pantry, where we were working the pet food. i ask C and T if they have seen any keys lying around. "no, but i'll keep my eyes out" sad thing is, this is the most important keys i had. my car, mom's car, my house, and the shed. all ones that honestly, no one wants missing. finally, i give up, and go on break, just so i can look for my keys. not what i had planned for my break. i had been planning on hopefully taking a power nap. i've been way way tired recently, so it would have been a blessing. it was not to be. i eventually go and look IN my car to see if they somehow came of my D-ring i keep cliped to me. yep, sure enough, they were sitting on the seat. so, i call mom. she hasnt left for work yet, thankfully, so she can bring me the spare, right? apparantly i shouldnt have tried. she was home, but i got a good yelling at, (over the work phone nonetheless!) and she hung up on me when she finally found them. she had claimed that she would be late for work. but here's the thing. she had told me just the night before that she could go in to work late today. lucky for me i rememberd it. i'm just glad that i didnt actually have to meet her to pick up the keys, but i am sorry for the really nice customer service lady. she had to deal with mom. poor gal. so i get home, and help rachel pack for going to stay with her daddy et al. for the next five days (we get her christmas morning, sometime after 9:00. we have no clue what we are going to do with ourselves that morning.) things seem to go smoothly, till i double check that she has everything. rachel has been...best way to describe it is PMSing, but she isnt old enough for it. i just hope that whatever it is causing it will stop soon. its getting to me, and i'm having problems keeping my temper with her. she gets upset at me, and things start to go downhill. we eat lunch, rachel not really all that happy, then we get in the car to get to trax. happily, she falls asleep on the way there and is happy when she wakes up. we get on our way, rachel absolutely loved riding trax! it was great. get to the wells fargo building to go donate blood, and find out "oh, your iron is actually okay, but you have too fast of a pulse" stupid people. thats why you do blood pressure, and not just pulse. some poeple have horrible pulse, and will never be able to, but have really really good blood pressure. i wish it was the ARC doing it. then i could have actually done something worthwile today. instead, i wasted an afternoon, and six dollars, and felt even worse about things. just alsdfjdasl;fjadslfjasd;l.

misrepresentation

i was giving a lesson on the Birth of our Savour, Jesus Christ, yesterday, and one of the things i needed for my lesson was a nativity, so the kids could put it up while learning about all the people in it. well that shouldnt be a problem, we have only about a million nativites around our house. i should be able to find one that will work well. or so i thought. one thing about all the nativites that we had in our house is that none of them have more than one shepheard to them. but, isnt it supposed to be "shepheardS abiding in the fields, watching THEIR flocks by night."? not just one shepheard, watching HIS flock? so i thought, maybe its just the nativites that we have in our house. maybe there is one in the deseret book add that has more than one. sure enough, there was, but the vast majority of the nativites have just one shepheard. something is wrong with that. why are there always three wise men, when they didnt even show up till 13 days after the birth, and only one shepheard, when there were many of them in the fields that night? the poor shepheards! they are misrepresented in the nativites! the kids are all going to think there was only one shepheard, and that the wisemen came that night! what injustice! i think i'll rebel, and support the cause of the shepheards. if'n i ever get/make a nativty of my own, i'm going to have lots of shepheards (and sheep too, i guess) and no wisemen (they dont belong in the story). even if it isnt much, the shepheards should appreciate it.

magic?

Christmas seems to have lost its magic for me. i used to always get all sorts of excited about Christmas coming, waiting to see everyones surprise and joy. feeling the love of my Father in Heaven for sending His Son for us. but this year, its not there. i like to elude myself by thinking that it mostly has to do with the fact that i work retail. but honestly, i dont think thats it. retail might have a slight bit to do with it. it makes it so much more commercialized than it normally is. it makes it so that christmas is this big thing, and that it needs to go on for months. it makes it not nearly as special. the thing that i really think is making Christmas not what it was is that i'm getting to be an adult, and with it, more responsibilitys that, sure i want them. but not here in utah. not where i am with my family. and most espcially, i dont want it to be where i am mentally. i'm not nearly the same person i was even just five and a half months ago. i've changed, and, looking back on it, mostly not for the better. i want to be able to see things the way i did then, when things didnt look so down. i dont know what changed, but it made me...different. i need it to change if i want Christmas to be what it was when i was little. something that truely was special. something magical.

heads up

just to let you all know, i've started a different page for my photo a day's. you can go here to see them.

best thing ever

cookies

seven random facts

just for fun, and because i have nothing better to do today, i'm going to be inspired by sean's blog and write seven random facts about myself. can anyone tell i'm bored?

1- i have recently inspired my sister to do her own photo a day, the day after mine stopped temporarily.

2- the only TV that i'll watch is PBS, and that only when someone else has it on. i dont usually turn to TV for entertianment. thats what nature and books are for.

3- i dont believe in using correct grammer myself, but it really irks me when people dont spell things right, and especially when books use poor grammer or wording.

4- despite being a rec. major, i'm not at all really into most rec. things. about the most that i'm really into is hiking and backpacking. (i'm hoping that taking the snow skills classes will change that a bit, along with the land skills) besides that, i'm hydrophobic.

5-i've been writing in all caps for so many years that i have a hard time forming lowercase letters.

6- i'm dyslexic, but with numbers only.

7- i highly enjoy watching really morbid movies.

we're marked

our house must be marked. all day for the last three days (since we got about 7" of snow!) we've had non-stop birds at our bird feeder. we no longer have a huge tree in our backyard, so we were kinda surprised to see just as many, if not more, birds come this year than normal. the birds must have some sort of marking device, like they do for the hobos and the underground railroad, so they know that "see that house over there? it has food. go get it all"